Blinded

Everyone makes mistakes. Some learn form it and some keep making the same mistakes over and over again. And then there are some who make the same mistake a million times and then learn from it when its kind of too late, Either way were all human and we all make mistakes. Then there are are some people with a good memory for the mistakes that people make and it just doesnt get outta their system for a long time. It's saddening because those people can never move on and they will be forever stuck in the past and keep tormenting themselves and others around them. I guess you never know untill you're too into it. It's crazy because sometimes ones feelings for someone blinds the most obvious facts untill someone from the outside points it out.

Too late

Cunting the days
Towards the day I meet my love,
I lay on the floor
Sweaty clothes clinging to her like a glove,
What have I done?
What explanation do I have?
For when my love comes to know how she is lying next to me now
No barriers.
A tear filed with guilt
Rolls down
Drenched with the sweat of another,
A act of weakness
Or loneliness it seemed
As I commit another sin
Oh how i want to turn back time
Why did I give into this?
The smell of pleasure
Mixed with pangs of guilt
Lay beside me now she is asleep
I dare wake her not
I dare not touch her again,
She keeps me warm for now,
A cruel satisfaction,
A dirty price to pay,
As I cry myself to sleep
All I want to is cry.
I see the shower and I know ten wont wash the guilt away,
Hope my love won't find
Or my fate would be sealed
As I lay myself to rest for tonight
I promise myself this was the last
I'll try to forget but tomorrow I'll see my love and hug her tight and lay with her as I do now.

Ruler

Smile when you want me to
Silenced when you talk
Kneel when you order me
Right behind you i have to walk

Emotionless and lost
Unrecognisable my own face to me.
For less better than worse
You keep drowning me in your sea.

I knew no comfort, I feel no pain
Disconnected are my nerves,
I know I'm slowly going breaking
But you told me that's what I deserve.

I thought you said you love me
Every time our lips touch
Now I feel you've taken over me.
And I don't know me much.

I gave up my own smile the moment i let you in
My likes, talents, freedom and every thing in between
What I didn't know is how much I'd hate myself so
For something I caused myself

My past became your present
What an unexpected gift it is
Your new hobby came an obsession
And now myself i miss

You were supposed to be my lover
Now swallow my aughter
Where is the girl i used to see in the mirror?
When did you become the ruler of me?

He Depended

The haunting sound of fear hanging around my tormented soul
The frequent sound of a spirit crashing been dragged into a death roll
As the ropes tighten
Her breath starts to quicken
and her light slowly escapes
The light of his life, the only reason he lived for
Was being tortured unmercifully and he didnt even know
Why she died
The rules don't abide
He never knew the monster she hid
Her beauty was fatal but only for that he loved her not
She had the love, care and devotion that he always sougth
Can this be fair?
He still needs her care
He feels her hair for the very first time
Kises her soft lips and hold her hand
My beautiful,
My sweet,
Why??
As he looks at her bruised but still beautifully glowing skin
He pays attention to the horrorfing thougth in his fragile mind wihtin
She's gone
The only one
He looks around and finally sees his doorway to her through the dar sun
He crawl up to it looks it in the eye and BANG!
He found a gun...

Ironic

When people are depressed and what not they come up with alot of creative things dark as most as them are its often more entertaining than flowers and rainbows and what not. but isnt it funny that when it comes to their final stages of suicidal craziness they completely turn into mere mortals and they leave their creativity behind? lol they almost always go the most common way lol

Valentine's Day, Are You Serious??

There is no reason to really celebrate valentine's day if all you do is fight the rest of the year. Being nice to each other just because all the other couples are lovey dovey doesn't really mean anything it just means that you just being a part of a very commercial day of the year made up to draw teenagers and adults alike to buy things for people they love and for the shopkeepers to make a little extra bucks so that they could take home a nice dinner. It's funny how somewhere in the third week of January every year the colours red & pink start getting on even your most patient nerve. Little pink and red hearts hanging from everything starting form branches of trees to the roofs of even the little pastry shops keep reminding everyone about the sickeningly sweet memories of valentine's that everyone will probably even unknowingly be participating in the next days to come. Well even though it's quite fun to receive a rose or two and a few chocolates or whatever the traditional V'day gift is it does not make up for all the cursing and misunderstanding that was carried out the rest of the year. Its almost hateful to the ones witnessing messy relationships to see them break up and then get back together again only to break up and make up a several hundred times. And no matter how obvious the incompatibilities are to the world around them the two involved in the relationship see nothing wrong until it's too late or until the bruises are too visible ignore so that someone else has to intervene. It's saddening to see people breakdown because they were too blind to see how ugly it could get at the start itself. Well my valentine's is no dream come true but to all who actually had a good time good for you and a post Happy Valentine's Day.